


it's too late for us (but i'm okay if i'm with you)

by PhantomFlutist



Series: Error!AU [3]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Error (Music Video), Cyborgs, Fluff and Angst, M/M, References to Cancer, brief panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:14:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10938675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantomFlutist/pseuds/PhantomFlutist
Summary: Hyuk has been searching (endlessly, it feels like) for a way to stop the Black Lung. But every time he starts to wonder why he's even doing it, Ken is there beside him reminding him that he has to try.





	it's too late for us (but i'm okay if i'm with you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi sorry it's been forever. I've been sick and also the fics I've been working on are taking longer than anticipated and then I added a Bangtan figure skater au. There will be more stuff in the future as soon as I can get it finished. Enjoy!

 

The lights flicker on above him and it’s only then that Hyuk realizes he’s been sitting in the dark. He looks up to see Ken standing over him, blinking blearily and rubbing at one eye with his fist.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Hyuk mumbles, tapping the power button on the tablet in his lap. The screen goes dark.

Ken shakes his head, reaches out a hand to smooth Hyuk’s hair down briefly and tells him, “I was thirsty. What are you doing up still? It’s three in the morning.”

Hyuk chuckles a little and pats at Ken’s thigh. “I don’t sleep as much as you do, remember?” he says. “And I was working.”

Ken hums in acknowledgment and wanders off to the other side of the room, where their little kitchen is nestled in the corner of the living room. Their apartment is tiny and they’re lucky it even has two bedrooms, but they pay for it themselves now so they’re proud of it anyway.

Hyuk sighs and settles deeper into their ratty sofa (given to them by Hongbin when he and Wonshik moved into their new place) and ignoring the spring that digs into his back in favor of listening to the soft sounds of Ken opening a cupboard and pulling out a glass, the sink running, and then Ken’s footsteps as he walks back over to Hyuk and sits down beside him.

“You’re gonna make yourself crazy like this,” Ken comments, taking a sip of his water.

Tapping his fingers against the darkened screen of the tablet, Hyuk admits, “I know. But I feel like I have to do it, you know?”

Ken sets his cup on the little side table next to the couch and curls his knees up against his chest, wrapping his arms around them. With his chin rested on his knees, his teeth clack a little as he says, “It’s not gonna change what happened to us.”

“I know,” Hyuk says again. And he sets the tablet aside and puts his arm around Ken and they just…sit there for a while. They’d been hoping, at first, that their memories would come back the way Taekwoon’s did. But it’s been four years and all Hyuk has is bits and pieces—the color of his bedroom walls when he was a kid, the name of his third-grade teacher, the fact that he was lactose-intolerant—and he’s pretty sure that Ken is the same.

It’s been four years and Hyuk still doesn’t even know his own name. So he has to do something. He has to finish this project that he’s started, make a difference, change things the way that Hongbin and Wonshik changed things so that no one ever has to feel this way again.

He’s almost there. He’s so close to figuring it out that he can _taste_ it, and he can’t just stop now. He’s going to fix this.

Ken falls asleep curled up in Hyuk’s arms, and Hyuk only pulls him closer and orders the lights off. He lifts his tablet with his free hand and turns the brightness all the way down and keeps working, because the one good thing about what he is now is that he rarely has to sleep.

\---

Hakyeon has been in recovery for exactly three weeks when he decides to return to work. Ken tells him he’s an idiot and Taekwoon trails behind him looking sour and letting his hands hover like he’s just waiting for Hakyeon to fall so he can catch him. It’s all very sweet and touching, even as Hakyeon grouches and complains that they’re babying him and that Ken has ruined his organizational system in his absence and why the hell is Hyuk even here again?

Hyuk doesn’t remind Hakyeon that he agreed to pay Hyuk a wage for sitting at the receptionist’s desk and looking pretty. They have like three patients a day so he’s not exactly necessary, but it was Hakyeon’s idea in the first place because Hyuk was always there anyway.

Instead Hyuk goes back to the research paper that he’s reading, from some government lab that Wonshik hacked for him. It doesn’t tell him much more than he already knew, but it was worth a try. Anything is worth a try, at this point.

The thing is that, as far as he can tell—as far as anyone can tell—there’s nothing in the air that should be causing the Black Lung. There’s shit in the air, sure, because their industrial practices are shitty and should have been regulated way back when they started, but none of it should be able to ravage a person’s lungs the way that the Black Lung inevitably does.

Which begs the question: what _is_ causing everyone to get sick? Because if it’s not the air, there has to be another explanation. And frankly, Hyuk doesn’t even know where to start looking.

The clinic door opens and Hongbin steps in, Wonshik behind him, stumbling over the threshold because Hongbin has just shoved Wonshik’s hands off his waist.

“Hey, Hyuk,” Hongbin says, and his smile doesn’t hold the trace of guilt that it used to. It’s a good thing; Hyuk hates being like this, but he doesn’t blame Hongbin. He was just doing his job.

Hyuk sets down the tablet that he’s holding and waves at the door behind him. “Hakyeon and Ken are in the middle of an argument, so it might be a minute,” he tells them.

Hongbin shrugs, flops down into one of the shitty plastic waiting-room chairs and asks, “So what are you up to lately, Hyuk?”

Hyuk runs his fingers around the edges of the tablet. He’s pretty sure that Hongbin knows already. After all, he’s married to Wonshik, who’s been getting Hyuk the data that he needs to continue his research. “You know, this and that,” he says, and if his smile is fake it’s just because he can’t seem to muster a real one. “Keeping busy, making sure Ken stays alive.”

“You two are cute,” Hongbin tells him. He looks surprised after, like he didn’t mean for it to come out of his mouth. Beside him, Wonshik drops his hand to Hongbin’s shoulder and squeezes a little.

It was weird at first, to feel the squirming embarrassment that always accompanied a blush but not to feel his face heating with excess blood, but Hyuk is used to it by now. He drops his gaze to the floor anyway, feels his lips go a bit numb as he mumbles, “We’re…it’s not like that.”

Hongbin’s hands raise, waving frantically, as he says, “No, sorry! I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it’s nice how close you’ve gotten, and the way you take care of each other. I’m…glad.”

The embarrassment fades a little, but not much. Hyuk forces himself to look up at Hongbin. “Thanks,” he says and means it. “I’m glad too. That I have someone, I mean.” He won’t lie and say that he’s never thought about it. But Ken acts so _young_ and Hyuk feels decades old sometimes. And they’re both built like bots, and not cyborgs. How would a relationship between them even work?

“It’s okay to have feelings,” Hongbin says, his tone a forced casual that literally anyone could see through. “You don’t have to force yourself to be something you’re not.”

Hyuk doesn’t know what the hell that means, and he can’t find it in himself to ask Hongbin to explain. The man is weird, and sometimes unstable, and frankly Hyuk is just…he’s just tired. “Thanks,” he says again, and then lets silence take over so that he doesn’t have to talk anymore.

Wonshik finally sits next to his husband, wrapping his arm around Hongbin’s shoulders and whispering in his ear, and Hongbin rolls his eyes and shoves Wonshik away. They’re unbearably cute, and Hyuk goes back to his reading and tries to pretend they’re not there.

The exam room door opens a few minutes later and Hakyeon exclaims, “Hongbin, Wonshik! Hyuk, why didn’t you tell me they were here?”

Hyuk shrugs and doesn’t look up from his tablet. “I figured you’d come out when you and Ken were done fighting.”

Hakyeon makes a huffy noise but doesn’t refute the fact that they were arguing, and instead he calls for Hongbin and Wonshik to enter his office and Hyuk is once more left alone.

It’s okay, he tells himself; even in a room full of people he still feels so damn alone.

\---

Ken is awoken by a loud bang and startles out of his bed, trailing blankets because they’re stuck around his ankle and _oh fuck not again. How the hell did they find him._ He’s scrambling, panicked, towards the wall, because if they’re at the door then there’s no way out and he can at least make sure that they can’t sneak up behind him.

The lights come on and a familiar voice shouts “Ken!” just as Hyuk’s face comes into focus.

Ken collapses into his arms, sobbing.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s me. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Hyuk murmurs, his hands drawing soothing lines down Ken’s neck and shoulders. He keeps making consoling noises, his voice soft and high, until Ken’s shaking stops and he takes a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles into Hyuk’s neck. His face isn’t wet, like it would be if he were human. He’s heard that Taekwoon can cry, but maybe he’s broken. A lot of things about him are broken.

Hyuk presses a kiss to his temple and his hands are firm around Ken’s sides. “Don’t be. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have burst in like that.”

Ken shakes his head, but it doesn’t matter. “Is something wrong?” he asks. Something has to have happened, for Hyuk to storm into his room in the asscrack of dawn.

“No, I—“ and Hyuk’s voice goes high with tension or excitement or…Ken doesn’t know. “I figured it out, Ken,” he whispers. “I figured out what’s causing the Black Lung.”

Ken’s eyes go wide outside of his control, and he pulls back out of Hyuk’s arms to look him in the face, to find out if he’s joking. “For real?”

Hyuk nods, his enthusiasm obvious now that Ken’s scare is over with, now that he’s looking. “It’s not the air,” he says, his words running over themselves like he’s worried that it’ll change if he takes too long. “The air is shitty but it’s not what’s making people sick, not exactly. It’s _in the water,_ Ken.”

“What?”

Hyuk clutches at his arms, squeezes them hard enough that it hurts a little, but Ken doesn’t say anything. Hyuk is so excited right now, so alive like Ken has never seen him. How many years has Hyuk been working toward this, and Ken was the first person he thought of, the first person he rushed to tell when he made the discovery? “There’s a compound produced when making certain metal composites. It’s completely harmless in the air, but when it touches water there’s a chemical reaction and it becomes toxic and, with enough exposure, gives people a strain of cancer that none of our current treatments can cure.”

Ken is breathless with this news. He finds himself cupping Hyuk’s face as he speaks, his beautiful face all animated and lit up like Ken has never seen it. This isn’t playful, flirty Hyuk, and this isn’t the somber-faced man that he’s seen inside their apartment and the clinic for the last four years. And Ken knew there was more to him, he’s just never seen it before. He wants to drink it in as much as he can, just in case it never comes back.

“People haven’t been _breathing in_ death,” Hyuk says, sliding his hands up from Ken’s biceps to his shoulders, his touch growing increasingly gentle. “They’ve been _drinking it_. And I think…with this new information, I think I know how to cure the Black Lung.”

“No more sickness?” Ken asks, and it’s too late for them, far too late to stop them from getting sick and everything that happened to them afterwards, but just the _thought_.

“No more sickness,” Hyuk confirms. There’s a giddy smile on his face, his cheeks pulled up like he just can’t help it. He’s so, so beautiful, and Ken can’t help but wish that he’ll always look this way.

He kisses him.

It’s messy—Hyuk’s mouth is still halfway open in that gorgeous smile, and there are teeth everywhere and a trickle of spit slides down Ken’s chin and he doesn’t care, because Hyuk kisses him back and it’s the single most wonderful thing he’s ever felt.

He doesn’t know how long they kiss for, just that when they stop his chest is heaving and his lips are tender and they’re lying on his bed. Hyuk’s body is warm and firm on top of him, and his fingers are threaded through Ken’s hair, stroking slowly. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and he just wants it to never stop.

\---

When he comes out of the haze of pleasure—at his discovery, at the feel of Ken’s lips against his—Hyuk feels the guilt drop like a leaden weight at the bottom of his stomach. He can’t help but feel like he’s just taken advantage of a child.

He tries to lift himself up, pull away from Ken and put some distance between them, but Ken’s arms wrap tight around his waist and his lower lip (still gorgeous and plump but no worse for wear after the hour they’ve just spent kissing) juts out in a pout and he says, “No, stay.”

Hyuk can’t do much but let himself settle over Ken once more. He knows that Ken can handle the weight, no matter how soft and delicate and ethereal he seems, but he still feels wrong doing it. He props himself up on his forearms, at least, so that they have room to talk. “We shouldn’t,” he murmurs.

Ken raises a challenging eyebrow and pokes Hyuk in the side. “Why not?” he asks. His lower lip is still sticking out, and it’s so tempting to just bite it, to go back to kissing and to stop worrying about this altogether.

But Hyuk is an adult, and he has to have this conversation. “You’re so young,” he says. His fingers find their way into Ken’s hair, and he can’t find it in him to regret it, not when Ken tilts into the touch and makes a happy little mewling sound.

“So are you,” Ken says.

“I feel so old, sometimes,” Hyuk admits. Their legs tangle together more and he ends up with his big toe brushing the little jut of bone at Ken’s ankle, and it feels so right that he leaves it there.

“But technically Hongbin made me first, so I’m older,” Ken argues with a little twinkle in his eyes. “In the end, does it matter? We might never remember how old we are, or if we had family, or lovers, or…anything. I might go on being Cha Ken for the rest of my life, and I don’t mind that as long as I have meaningful work and people who love me.” He tucks his fingers, slightly cool from the air-conditioning, up underneath Hyuk’s shirt and traces the bumps of his spine.

Hyuk shivers. Could he live the rest of his life as Kim Hyuk? Maybe it’s not who he was, but it’s starting to feel more and more like who he _is_ , and maybe with Ken at his side it doesn’t matter in the end. He’s gonna save the future of the entire goddamn race, and that sounds more important than worrying about whether he’s actually as old as he feels some days.

And here, wrapped in Ken’s arms, he’s the youngest he’s ever felt. And maybe that’s reason enough to stay.

“Fine,” he says at last, dotting a kiss to the end of Ken’s nose. “Fine, you win. I don’t even know how this is going to work, but you win.”

Ken giggles and mimics the kiss, and one of his hands grips Hyuk’s shoulder and pulls him down so they’re pressed flush, chest to knees. “I just like kissing you,” he says. “And holding you like this. Can’t we just do that? Do we need anything else?”

“No, I guess not,” Hyuk mumbles. He takes Ken’s earlobe between his teeth and worries it for a moment, apologizing with a kiss when Ken lets out a little gasp. They’re okay like this, he supposes, just being _together_. He hasn’t really been part of a ‘we’ in a long time, and he likes it a surprising amount.

Ken murmurs, “Good,” and snuggles down deeper into the mattress, his arms tight around Hyuk’s ribcage. “Sleep now,” he orders, and Hyuk may not sleep much, but here in Ken’s arms it’s unexpectedly easy to drift off.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://phantomflutist.tumblr.com/) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/PhantomFlutist) for writing updates, spoilers, ranting, and more!


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